No Dice

So... round 1 didn't work. Aunt Flow arrived the day before my scheduled pregnancy test. How did this happen? I prayed, I hoped, I didn't drink a drop of alcohol. After moping and crying for awhile I left a message for my nurse at ACRM telling her I wouldn't be coming in the following morning for my test. I had no idea how emotionally draining this would all be. B was disappointed as well, but seeing as he's Captain SuperSperm, he didn't quite grasp the sense of failure I was feeling.

As I downed a very dirty, very cold, very delicious vodka martini I thanked him for being so wonderful. I also threatened to shave his eyebrows in his sleep if he ever uttered the following words to me again, "Everything happens for a reason. You'll be pregnant when the time is right."

Oh, really? Is that why I've been charting my periods for the last year and a half? I guess having doctors regularly doing vaginal ultrasounds was all for the thrill, right? And money? Who needs it? Let's just keep giving it to ACRM - who needs air conditioning anyway?

The next morning my nurse called to schedule my ultrasound for that week and reminded me that in five days I would need to start my next round of Clomid. Wait a second! Can't I get off this ride for a minute and catch my breath? My ultrasound later that day showed that I hadn't developed any cysts from the Clomid so I was given the all-clear to start my next round on day five. I was in autopilot throughout the appointment. I just wasn't sure I had it in me to do all of this over again. I now have a completely different level of appreciation and understanding for couples who do this for years.

And the best part? In the last few days I've found out that every asshole I know is now pregnant. Fanfuckingtastic.